your mother called

Your mother called.  She said for you to return her thimble as soon as possible.  She also said she wants you to stop eating so many watermelon seeds.  She said she is worried that they will fill up in your esophagus and you won't have any more room to eat watermelon.  She also seemed concerned about your cat, Simon.  Is he okay?  That's all she said.  Be home for dinner at six.

Love,

Stacy

Dear Ben,

Your mother called again.  She said you left the seat up at her house and is wondering why a man of your size is still peeing on the seat.  She also said to tell you to not eat so many eggs because they have a lot of cholesterol in them and your cholesterol is already high.  She said she is leaving a box of Cheerios in our mailbox and for you to get it on your way home from work.  Then we were talking about athlete's foot and got disconnected.  I think I should call the phone company.

Love, Stacy

Dear Sweetheart-

Wheere are you?  Your mother called today.  She told me that coffee causes ulcers and that she thinks she may have one.  What do you think?  I told her to eat some soup.  She wants you to read an article in Time magazine about a bee keeper named Spike.  She said it doesn't have to do with honey so it's okay for you to read it.  Are you coming to Mike;s birthday dinner?  Let me know.

I love you.

Love, Stacy

Dear Ben,

I stepped on that mouse trap today when I went to answer the phone.  Your mother said you shouldn't have left it there.  I told her it's because we are trying to catch a mouse.  She suggested that we get a goldfish.  I told her I'd consider it.  We could name it Guppie.  She told me to tell you that she got some new shoes for  you with arch support.  She said Dr. Scholl didn't make them but that a better doctor did.  She wants you to pick them up at her house.  She also said she wants to make you a chicken dinner.  I asked if I should bring a can of cream of mushroom soup.  Then the phone got disconnected.  I have to call the phone company.  Should I bring her some soup?

Love, Stacy